The Ten Keys to Changing Teens 1. Connection: All change is based in connection, not power.
2. Family Fun Night: No discussions of struggle, 100% pure connection.
3. Emotions: Monitor yours, they are the Number One tool used to manipulate!
4. Modeling: Is your strongest teacher! Stay calm no matter what!
5. Family Emotional Check-in Night: Express your emotions.
6. Remember the Wall: Work smarter, not harder.
7. Resistance Assessment: Now you can intervene more effectively?
8. Accountability: Follow through on your structure, no matter what!
9. Keep Your Power: aka, putting intervention in others’ hands.
10. Teens=Crazy: They are crazy! Remember: No frontal lobes!
Download the “Ten Keys to Changing Teens” (124KB pdf).
Tips for Setting Structure and Accountability
1. Set your rules with clear definition. Give your expectations clearly! Leave no loopholes; they will find them! State the potential consequences.
2. Give only one warning. If you give two, you are wavering! Only one, no matter what!
3. Follow through. Teens know if you will! Show them you mean business! Give no explanation; if Step 1 is there is no need to! Remember, talking is a trap for emotional manipulation.
Suggestions for Interacting With Teens and Drug Use
1. Emphasize the destructive life experiences.
2. Do not tell a one-sided story.
3. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
4. Learn to monitor you emotion.
5. Teens crave intimacy, but won’t ask for it.
6. Channel risk energy into a safe direction.
7. Build emotional literacy (emotional openness).
8. Understand gender and emotion.
9. Know all your kids’ friends (and their parents).
10. Talk openly about all aspects of drugs with your teen.
Teen statistics: Teenagers whose parents talk to them regularly about the dangers of drugs are 42% less likely to use drugs than those whose parents don’t, yet only 1 in 4 teens report having these conversations.
